February = not good
It's turning out (already) to be one of those months where if it can go wrong, it will/has/has the capacity to/is looming large on the horizon like it's gonna.
The kids are both going through a difficult stage at the same time. Michelle isn't sleeping well at all because of it, and I'm not helping because I could sleep through the house falling down around me. Even when I somehow hear Lily or Luke of a night and get up to help, thinking we've got away clean and I've managed to settle said child without waking Michelle - I find out in the morning I still did, and Michelle was up to the kids anyway 3 other times. Fricken' useless.
Add to this that for whatever reason Lily's become really clingy, and freaks out if she can't see Michelle. This mostly happens when she's tired, but that can be as simple as she woke up 5 minutes ago and has pushed through the "I'm feeling OK" phase. So, it's pretty constant. Somehow, Michelle has hurt her right wrist too... making it hard for her to pick anything over 20 grams up. This includes the children.
Me... well, I'm trying hard to help, however seemingly only making things worse. It doesn't help that in the list of 'important things to do/look after/care about' I'm about number 6,234,534,322,667,279 on the list. I think that number is optimistic. I shouldn't care - I do. I should be supporting my wife and being all nice and selfless and a Godly husband and all that. I keep screwing that up good and proper (just re-read this paragraph to see how well I'm doing that!).
My head feels think with confusion, anger, tiredness, confusion, depression, rejection, confusion... like a think mist rolling across a dark english moor at midnight. Did I say I feel confused?
Of course, in all this, Michelle has all of this and more (aces high, for all you poker fans out there). So who am I to complain? Why should I complain? It's not worth me complaining.
I should open a big, fat can of toughen up and get on with life. I should, but I really can't find it in the fridge right now...
Comments
1. Julie & Wayne said...
We all hear what your saying! Life is incredibly busy and we seem to make it busy. It is very hard to find peace at times, but when I really look at my situation and see what a miracle I've been given all the confusion fades. The busy is still there but it is insignificant. Finding peace in where you're at in life is a milestone and a true comfort and sometimes it's hard to see.
3. Jonathan said...
Hang on mate, February is the shortest month.
I think the can of toughen up was mislabled and marked "Natural Spring Water". Take a deep drink and say a prayer. The man that doesn't have time to pray, needs it most.
I'll add a couple of prayers of my own for you and yours.
I'm posting a link that just came in today from a site I regularly read. I don't know if it will help, but here it is.
http://zenhabits.net/2008/02/a-simple-guide-to-being-present-for-the-overworked-and-overwhelmed/
4. Pete Aldin said...
Dude. My favourite phrase from the Bible? "and it came to pass" - it didn't come to "stay". Not just semantic crap; truth. Life's this river, huh? It's rapids, still waters, more rapids, a little choppy, still waters, more fracken rapids! It's not your fault the rapids are all around you again. It's understandable that you both get a little seasick and beaten up by the tossing around.
Just don't go looking for ANTHING in that fridge! ;) (It ain't gonna help).
Hoping and praying you both get a good rest soon.
Much love!
5. Bliss said...
If you are going thru Hell, keep going, don't stop!
2. Scott Carpenter said...
But it's only been six days so far in February! :S
2/6/2008 10:12:04 AM